a note, on the bathroom floor.
"Dear Jake Gyllenhaal,
I am your biggest fan; you might say I'm a "Gylenhaalic." This note - nay - proclamation is ode, homage, and invitation to spear me with your purple headed warrior. I've been practicing with my sex anus. After watching Jarhead, I've nestled it upon a throne of Santa Claus hats and dreams. I hope your masterful job in the cinema is mirrored in your throbbing, ramming, full-throttle crevasses, which i will fill with a tender manhood.
By the way, free on Oscar night.
For True,
Brennen M. Murray."
i enjoyed the delightful use of proper punctuation in this proclamation.
I am your biggest fan; you might say I'm a "Gylenhaalic." This note - nay - proclamation is ode, homage, and invitation to spear me with your purple headed warrior. I've been practicing with my sex anus. After watching Jarhead, I've nestled it upon a throne of Santa Claus hats and dreams. I hope your masterful job in the cinema is mirrored in your throbbing, ramming, full-throttle crevasses, which i will fill with a tender manhood.
By the way, free on Oscar night.
For True,
Brennen M. Murray."
i enjoyed the delightful use of proper punctuation in this proclamation.
posted by riley dog at 4:55 PM
2 Comments:
Jake is 100% pure mantabular.
I want to do him almost as much as I want to do Sean Connery.
brennen doubts the authenticity of the note.
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