blind man who bit guide dog, charged.

headings of various emails sent to me by my father:

• when girls drink too much
• babies born in winter are bigger
• superman's penis is too big for the cinema
• what type of lesbian are you?
• the life of jesus in christmas lights
• squirrel pack kills dog
• 14 day weather trend
• bleak wristbands
• fish surgery
• bush to appoint someone to be in charge of country
• stuff on my cat
• smurfs annihilated by warplanes
• scrabble dictionary and word builder
• testicle
• why does everyone have to be fucking morons?
• gay or straight? hard to tell.
• hubble finds sauron
• hand-knit superhero costumes
• slime-mold beetle/talking jesus
• reporter gets his ass handed to him by neurologist
• we meet again, at last. the circle is now complete
• 'wedgie' added to webster's dictionary