conversations from a tuesday off.

father: did you get the email i sent you? the one seeing how many condoms you can fit on a penis at one time?
emily: not yet, but how many?
father: 685. i'm trying to beat it, but i'm only at 310.
emily: what? really? are you doing it right now?
father: oh god, fuck no. you're so gullible.
emily: i'm disappointed.

blockbuster girl: so, uhh, you're getting cinderella 3 and schindler's list?
emily: oh god no. that's a really wrong combination.
blockbuster girl: i was going to say...one will lift you up and the other will bring you crashing right back down.
emily: one would make you cry with happiness and the other will make you cry with...
blockbuster girl: sadness.
emily: exactly.