titles of emails from my father: part 4

Cocaine-addled driver destroys entire cornfield on run from police
Emily has a femininity rating of 0.68
The ending of the Harry Potter series written in the style of the ending of The Sopranos
Custom my little ponies
Pentagon sought to build a ‘gay bomb’
Hot 100 women chosen by lesbians
Ohio lethal injection takes 2 hours, 10 tries
Trying to maneuver an imperial walker out of a mall parking lot
A 7-point scale for rating eggs benedict
Lonely man brought donkey to hotel room, court told
Printable cold sores
How many condoms at once?
Still some things humans do better than robots
Silly things my 3-year-old said that I’m certain the rest of the world would find sweet and cute:

Me: Did you like having our silly time today? Did you like our walk?
Him: I saw…walky…and…(starts giggling).
Me: You saw a walky?
Him: I will crush you.
Me: (Silence).
Him: Be certain that I am your undoing. I am everything. There were three things in my beginning: my interrupted biological sleep, a birth, and the end to a warm darkness and silence. And now I am here with you. And a reckoning is coming, that’s all I’m saying.