emily is waving her hands around like she doesn't care.

many a things have happened in the world of emily:

1) used my newly-learned medical vocabulary to describe the differences between the 18A and R -rated versions of "Pirates", and thus i quote, "you don't get to see any nibbly-bits in the 18A version."

2) purchased a variety of items, mostly for evan's birthday and some for personal use, either way, the receipt reads as follows:

-urinal male deluxe (birthday)
-summer, eve douche (birthday)
-vaginal syringe (personal)
-durex lube assort (birthday)
-gyne, moist gel (personal)
-mansfield gloves (personal)
-durex ring vibrate (birthday)
-skin lotion (birthday)
-baby oil (birthday
-preg test kit (now the question is, was this for the party?)
-nexcare personal cleansing wipes (birthday)
-moist towelettes (birthday)
-super jumbo tampons (personal: people think i'm lying about being a virgin, but i can't help it if i have a heavy flow and a wideset vagina)
-lifestyles condom value (birthday)
-lifestyles condom value (personal: i don't want a repeat receipt with item 'preg test kit')

3) emily is the temporary owner of a blow-up doll with realistic male anatomy. guess i won't need to temporarily worry about stds.

4)had the following conversation about stethoscopes in class:

teacher: if your partner will let you, you can lift up their shirt to hear better.
emily: (turns to partner) you'll have to buy me dinner before i let you do that.