emily is a current events monster.

emily: do you think that my new year's resolution could be to expand my conversational topics? i could carry around cue cards with thoughtful insights, quotes, and recent news items.
dylan: hahah
emily: i don't feel that was very constructive/helpful, but thanks…hey, so did you hear about the survey conducted in the states that showed that many of today's youth have used cough and cold medicine to get high? and this crisis in kenya is getting pretty drastic. many citizens are having to abandon their homes in order to escape the machete-wielding mobs.
dylan: good effort
emily: i feel like cnn news is letting me down in my time of need. life was so much easier when i wasn't seeking to enrich my everyday conversation pieces. and i'll have you know that it's all your fault. there will come a day when you'll regret ever pointing out that all i talk about is the human anatomy and the various objects that can be inserted into it. you'll wish for those days - nay! crave them.
dylan: we'll see about that
emily: is that a challenge? because a topic totally came up tonight that involved tools as toys and i did not make a single remark – i refrained. so start cherishing the memories of the days when i was one-track minded. from here on out, i will seek to grow as a human being by avoiding those topics that were the basis for my very being, my very essence! you, my friend, have created a current events monster!