titles of emails from my father: part 5

bacon chocolate chip cookies with maple cinnamon glaze
hello kitty contact lenses
how many five year olds could you take in a fight?
personal taser for women
that’s what you get for ruining my birthday you bitch!
pills to make your shit sparkle
fetusmobile impounded
hello kitty electronic toilet paper dispenser
hot chicks with douchebags
raccoon real victim in lovers’ triangle
turns out tasers work well on 68 year old senior stroke victims who’ve just been punched in the face too!
santas warned ‘ho ho ho’ offensive to women
environmentally friendly coffin
like many young women who simply want the chance to kill as many victims as possible
female serial killer has to work twice as hard to achieve notoriety
thirty illnesses, sorted according to whether or not you can eat the victims

interesting links:
http://www.bureauofcommunication.com/compose/apology
http://www.kittyhell.com/

interesting quotes from a news item:
"I ... thought, God, that looks like a raccoon with a spear in it, and a
sign on it," he told the Sun. "So I tiptoed out there and, sure enough,
that's exactly what it is."