"hello? i need some service for my meat."

Emily was walking through the Summit Shopping Centre in Kamloops. As she walked past the delicatessen, she glanced into the shop window. There, nestled in amongst the salami, was a sign proclaiming "Fresh from Warsaw-World's Largest Sausage."

Hanging on a large hook above it, was the most enormous sausage she had ever seen. It must've been at least eight inches in diameter, and two feet long.

"That's a two-man zeppelin, not a sausage," she thought. "Oh well, I'll try anything once."

So she walked into the shop, heaved the 20 lb. monster down off the hook and, plunking it down on the counter, presented it to the shopkeeper, who immediately wrestled it onto the machine and started slicing it up.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?" cried Emily in dismay. "What do you think I am? A slot machine?"

a visit to evan's brings untold treasures.

things that i enjoyed at evan's while perusing his dvd and book collections:

1) the fact that the two movies 'brokeback mountain' and 'the hole' were paired together.
2) the fact that the two books 'the giver' and 'catcher in the rye' were paired together.

tuesday also brings peanut butter cookies.

things said while emily was baking cookies:

"want to see my cookie dance?"
"is the brown sugar on the top or in the bottom?"

tuesday brings miracles in the form of whip.

my parents live in a town called "mayo", but the corner store only sells miracle whip.

saturday brings late night services for a reasonable fee.

today i saw a moose...well, actually, i saw meese.

thursday brings a dirty harry.

today i became the first person to borrow the new harry potter book from the library. it was just sitting there all neglected like. poor harry - no one to flip through his pages and pages of (what i like to call) his fine print. mmmhm.