emily is showing off her vertical smile.

so, besides attending a halloween party this weekend, i also took an online past-life analysis. it told me (and i quote), "i don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation. you were born somewhere in the territory of modern Bulgaria around the year 1775. your profession was that of a sailor or shoemaker." surprise, surprise.

emily is a fan of the knee-chest position.

two conversations of interest:

emily: so, edwin, my horoscope for the week says that someone that i normally get along with, will annoy me this week. it also says that it's not me, it's them and that i should give them space. i thought you should know this because i don't want you to do anything to annoy me. i don't want space with you. in fact, i want the exact opposite. i want to be as close as humanly possible to you. perhaps we can accomplish this together in the handicap stall on one of your breaks at dt?

edwin: you make me really nervous.


emily: Average number of times French people have sex every year: 130. Your ancestry predisposes you to have a lot of sex. Just thought you should know.

lucas: 130 is a lot?

emily: Well, if you have sex 130 times a year (and let's assume here that you are evenly dividing these daily, and not hourly), that would mean that (approximately) you are doing the deed 36% of the time. I think that 36% (give or take a few percentages) is better than the 0% that some of us are engaging in.

emily often refers to her vagina as "the jungle".

emily has a birthday, shenanigans ensue:



a random selection of birthday wishes that others have for emily:

i wish emily would be my baby's mama.
i wish emily would put an eggplant in me.
i wish emily was as tight as she was yesterday.
i wish emily would bring me meat.
i wish emily would improve grain production in dry, arid regions of africa.

As I will it, so mote it be. Amen.